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“Fantasies of sexually confident women are reflections of
the dawning change in our sexuality and are also a means of furthering that
change.” – Bob Berkowitz, His Secret Life
In 1997, New York City
native, author and former television host, Bob Berkowitz published his infamous
book, His Secret Life. A book
designed to inform and further bridge the communication gap that divides the women
of Venus from their Martian counterparts- the complex human male. Not only does the author add many interesting
facts surrounding male sexuality, his quick wit gained from being a veteran,
call-in talk show host and reporter also shines through. Any reader with an open mind (sexually
speaking) is guaranteed to enjoy his many great moments of tantalizing sexual
humor, in this revolutionary book about male sexual fantasies.
Much like Nancy
Friday’s book, My Secret Garden, this book is also filled with real-life sexual
fantasies. Only this book is centered on
men, and their own unique perceptions of hot sex. From the very beginning the book is crammed
packed with over seventy male, fantasies, gathered by Bob and his personal
staff, from men of all races, ages, sizes, and religious backgrounds. Not until this book was published, had there
been a book centered on the sexual psyche of men.
I first came across this book, while shopping online for
informational resources on how to be a better erotic lover. As soon as the book hit my mail box, I was
enthralled with it. I simply could not put
it down. As I diligently read and reread
every page, I was a sponge, careful to absorb all that I could about men. It is still hard to explain the overwhelming excitement
and anticipation that I felt that day, when I thought I had finally found “the book”
that would make me a better lover. Boy
was I wrong! Just because men say they
desire something, does not mean they truly want it that way. I had to find out the hard way that men, do
not really know what they want sexually.
Bob Berkowitz’s first chapter in his male sexual fantasy
book was ironically title, “The Sexually Confident Woman.” If you were to open my copy of the book, from
pages 19 - 35, you would find numerous, highlighted sections of his text, in
which I even went so far as to asterisk and date. Keying me to never forget the obvious
importance of what I had just read. “Never
forget…” well that is exactly what I should have done. It would have saved me a lot of
disappointment and un-necessary wrangling with my male counterparts.
Whether or not, men desire a strong, sexually aggressive woman- they do not desire her to be that in real life! What I found out the hard way is that when
you wake them up by sucking their cock in the morning, they tend to be
grumpy. When you actually do reach over
to play with there cock in the movies, they tend to slap your hand away. When you do decide to masturbate in front of
them as sexual foreplay, they freak out and run away. It has been brought to my opinion that all
those things written in Bob Berkowitz’s book is just a load of horse shit, and
that men don’t know what they really want.
Even when it came to the “ultimate” male fantasy of group sex, I
actually had some men just stand there limp, not knowing what to do next. It’s not difficult to pick a pussy in that
situation to play with however, just to stand there…, I was like “What the fuck, are you kidding me?”
Bottom line people, when it comes to sex heterosexual men
don’t know what they want. They think
they want to be tied up but, once you put those straps on- they just lay there
too scared to participate. Most of them
don’t even whimper or make any movement of any kind. If I want to fuck a dead man- I would rather
just go the morgue. At least that way, I would not have to kick them out of my
bedroom or change the sheets. I am not a
sex therapist; I am not a doctor of any kind.
I’m just a woman who started fucking men at the age of fourteen, and
have been searching for great sex ever since.
The one thing that I have learned since reading His Secret Life
is that men may think they want a sexually aggressive woman but in real life,
they want to suckle their momma’s breast.
